The Sobering Truth About Parenting and How God Sees You

I am a firm believer that as parents (and guardians), we are responsible for guiding and supporting our children towards fulfilling their life’s purpose, rather than manipulating their future life course.

Contrary to what some parents may feel, children are not prized possessions; they are on loan to us for a season. They were not created to be replicas of ourselves. Children, from conception, have their own unique identity and personhood. Therefore, it’s an honor and weighty responsibility to nurture children into becoming emotionally intelligent, compassionate, empathetic, and productive human beings. And this privilege comes from God.

You didn’t come from your parents, you came through your parents

While mulling over this truth, I came across an inspiring and challenging message by Lance Wallnau that speaks volumes about our godly heritage and how parents and guardians shape our life story. Please read on to uncover some deep truths.

Sometimes somebody might come into the world through parents that are divorced or a mother that put them up for adoption, or they could even be the victim of incest or rape or something terrible like that. You know, not everyone comes through the earth in a fairytale story.

BUT…

You didn’t come from your parents, you came through your parents, God is the one who brought you into the world. I love that.

You didn’t come from your parents. You may have had loving parents, you may have had good parents, but you didn’t come from your parents, you came through your parents. God is the one who brought you into history at this time.

  • Whatever age you are, you are exactly the age God wanted you to be in 2015.
  • Whatever gender you are, you are exactly the gender God wanted you to be in 2015.
  • Whatever race or nationality or color of skin you are, you are who God brought you into the earth to be in this hour in history.

You are at the right place in the right body with the right gender in the right nationality with the right skin tone. And if you are a Christian, then your parents may have been the delivery vehicle through which God brought you into the world.

You came from God. God wanted you to exist. God wanted you to be here. God has gifts and talents that he has given you. And he has given them to you because He wants you to be an extension and expression of the goodness of God to other people’s lives.

God is putting the fragments of your story together so that your story will have a better next chapter than you possibly could ever imagine.

God is positioning you in your prayers. Please pray. Pray for God to put you at the right place with the right people at the right time.

Be faithful in everything that God gives you. Be faithful to honor everything. Put your faith into fruitless situations simply because by serving as unto the Lord, serving as unto God, and not unto people, serving as unto the Lord and not unto a ministry or person, but making the Lord your client. Every time you work with a client, treat them as though it was Jesus and do it by faith because God will be working through those people to connect you to His divine appointments.

Tell me, were you as blessed by these powerful truths as I was?

Does Anybody Really Know What Lies Ahead?

On the other side

Life is full of surprises. And that’s what keeps it interesting. You never really know what awaits in the next minute, hour, day, or month. But seeing my little guy pressing his tiny hand against this airplane window was a poignant reminder of how we should keep lunging forward into life, reaching toward our goals, no matter the uncertainty, doubt, or fear.

So this November, I plan to forget what lies behind—including the mishaps, failures, and mistakes—and to reach for the things that lie ahead (Philippians 3:13).

No turning back. Only pressing forward.

Stop, Think, and Act: Teaching Kids About Emotional Intelligence

It’s never too early to teach children how to manage their emotions. A large and growing body of research demonstrates that emotional intelligence is associated with positive outcomes in children beginning as early as preschool.

According to Daniel Goleman, author of the best-selling book Emotional Intelligence:

Emotional intelligence is a different way of being smart. It includes knowing what your feelings are and using your feelings to make good decisions in life. It’s being able to manage distressing moods well and control impulses. It’s being motivated and remaining hopeful and optimistic when you have setbacks in working toward goals. It’s empathy; knowing what the people around you are feeling. And it’s social skill—getting along well with other people, managing emotions in relationships, being able to persuade or lead others.

Increasing Emotional Literacy

A big aspect of emotional intelligence is teaching kids how to appropriately identify and label their emotions. By developing and expanding their emotional literacy (vocabulary), children can adequately focus on discovering and defending their true selves. And we know that confident children are less easily swayed by negative peer pressure influences.

With bullying and hate speech rampant in our society, we must teach our children how to nurture their inner voice. Identity is so crucial to a prosperous and healthy soul; personally, I don’t want society defining who or what my child is or will become.

The Stoplight Technique for Impulse Control

There are numerous techniques for cultivating a culture or environment of healthy emotional responses in children. One such technique called “The Stoplight” teaches kids about impulse control and how to respond when distressed, upset, or facing a problem.

The Stoplight offers children concrete steps for dealing with challenging situations:

Red light—Stop!
Calm down and think before you act

Yellow light—Think!
Say the problem and how you feel
Set a positive goal
Think of lots of solutions
Think ahead to the consequences

Green light—Act!
Go ahead and try the best plan

I’ll be sure to implement this strategy next time my daughter acts up or is in distress.

I Feel Way Up Blessed

My Princess Z gifted me with this gorgeous flower straight from her imagination. To some, it may appear simplistic; to me, it’s symbolic of her compassion and maturity.

She knows I love flowers, so this is her way of telling me she sees and values me. I feel blessed, wayyy up blessed.

Princess Flower

#Blessed #WayUpBlessed

Is There Any Good News Anymore?

Is it just me, or does the media not report good news anymore?

Seems to me like we’re constantly being barraged by tragic, devastating, hateful media content. It’s overwhelming. Just when you’re coming to grips with one heartbreaking situation, another horrible incident occurs.

Is there any good out there? Why aren’t we hearing more about it? At some point this deluge of bad news will only serve to desensitize us.

I think it’s important to balance all the legitimately tragic news with positive stories as well. My heart cannot continue to consume this bad press.

So in an age where the media is constantly pumping out negative, dark, gloomy, hateful, tragic stories, there’s wisdom in turning to your Bible … it’s replete with GOOD NEWS and pages upon pages of LOVE and HOPE for all humanity.

How do you feel about all the doom and gloom news coverage?

My Unpopular Black Opinion

As a person of color, I’m always intrigued to read about black culture and how we as a people perceive ourselves. Although some would believe that the black community is monolithic in its thinking, this is furthest from the truth. Comments and opinions under the hashtag  reveal that not all black people share the same opinions regarding race, politics, relationships, hair, fashion, education, music, food, you name it.

Read below for a summary of some of the top “unpopular opinions” gathered from Twitter under the hashtag . Note that these opinions are not mine; they are the expressed views from Twitter. As a side note, I wonder what the opinions would be coming from an African or Caribbean audience versus a primarily African-American lens.
Racism and Sounding White
  • Not every white person is Racist & our history does not give us the right to be rude to every white person.
  • Americans don’t live in a “post racial society” and we are still suffering from the results of slavery.
  • Racism isn’t our problem to solve cause it was never our fault.
  • A lot of yall pull the race card before even knowing what happened… It’s devalues our movements as a whole
  • Praying is not gonna stop systemic racism. Time we take matters into our own hands on our feet and off our knees.
  • There’s no such thing as sounding white. We won’t progress as a race with a belief that voice associates with race
  • Speaking properly isn’t speaking white. Since when is being proper only a white trait?
  • Black people are racist too
  • Y’all need to stop saying he wanted to be white. He had vitiligo. He was a proud black man. (regarding Michael Jackson)

Dark Skin vs Light Skin Beauty

  • Darkskin women been fine. This didn’t happen overnight.
  • Being lightskin does not automatically make you pretty and being darkskin doesn’t make you ugly.
  • That lightskin-darkskin stuff is a direct descendent of white supremacy. don’t feed into that.
  • My dark skin was always beautiful. Didn’t take the “melanin” trend to make me feel “IN”.
  • Light Skin and Dark Skin jokes aren’t jokes. Their suppressed brainwashing. STOP IT.
  • Just cause I’m light-skinned doesn’t mean I’m not black, stop telling me I cant be black because I’m not dark.

Relationships, “Mixed” Kids, and Fatherhood

  • Interracial relationships are not the problem. The problem is when you bash ur own race & refuse to date within it.
  • Being in an interracial relationship is not a sign of self hate.
  • The not having a father jokes have never seemed funny to me.
  • A single mother CAN NOT teach a boy how to be a man..
  • Growing up without a father is MUCH harder, but it is NOT a death sentence.
  • Mixed kids are no more beautiful than chocolate babies.
  • Its not cute to have young children cursing, twerking or fighting and the adults in the room egging it on.
  • Stop referring to your husband, fiance or boyfriend as “my nigga”. If you truly love him you would respect him.

Black Women (BW)

  • We need to treat our African American women like the queens that they are. Chivalry isn’t dead.
  • I don’t want any compliment that ends with “for a black girls”
  • As a BW, we really don’t care what race BM date…we just get mad when you belittle us.
  • Black women don’t need to be hyper-sexualised to be attractive period.
  • I do not want to be anyone’s “trap queen.”

Natural Hair, Good Hair, and Self Hate

  • Good hair” and “dark skin vs. light skin” are forms of internalized racism taught to promote colorism & self hate
  • There’s more to black culture than natural hair styles, fat asses and big lips.
  • Just because a girl has short hair doesn’t mean she is ugly or bald…
  • Just bc you wear weave doesn’t mean you have no hair.
  • “Good hair” means healthy hair, but does not mean a certain length or a certain texture.
  • How is hair that grows naturally from someone’s scalp not for them..
  • “Natural hair isn’t for everybody” is the DUMBEST statement. How is embracing what you were born with not for you?
  • There is no such thing as “good hair” whatever hair you were born with is “good” enough. Spirals, waves, or Kinks.
  • When I went natural, it was more Black people than white people who had something negative to say.
  • My relaxed hair does not mean that I value Eurocentric beauty and hate myself and my culture.

Education: Intelligence Isn’t white

  • Using proper grammar & enjoying reading for fun does not mean you’re “acting white.”
  • I’m sick of boys trying to become rappers, go be a damn doctor, a lawyer, something.
  • Sports and rapping is not the only way out the hood.
  • Talking with slang doesn’t make you ‘ghetto’ & using proper grammar doesn’t make you sound ‘white.’
  • My ability to form coherent sentences and my vast vocabulary doesn’t make me “white”. Intelligence isn’t white.
  • It’s okay if you’re not good in sports. Get in those books and stay in them.

Black Music Culture

  • Really don’t like rap music; between the excessive profanity, violence and degradation of women I can’t stand it
  • 90s hip hop SLAYS current hip hop.
  • I don’t get the Drake beard or music love.
  • It’s ok to listen to other genres of music other than Hip-Hop and Trap.
  • I’d rather listen to Maroon 5 than young thug. he raps like courage the cowardly dog tryna explain a situation.
  • Beyoncé is alright. Music wise she’s okay. Looks wise she’s decent. Yall overhype her.
  • Beyonce is a normal human being and shouldn’t be worshipped.
  • Tyler Perry movies are the same. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. OF. THEM.
  • The black community doesn’t know the extent Michael Jackson cared about his own race. He was hella woke.
  • Dresses and Jordan’s don’t go together.
  • Pulling up sagging pants will not end inequality for black boys or men.

Thoughts on Southern Cuisine

  • Fried chicken is overrated and it’s killing our people.
  • I hate kool aid it’s either too damn sweet or bland color water.
  • Peach cobbler is horrible.
  • Collard greens are disgusting.
  • Grits are nasty.
  • Cornbread is disgusting.

Sound off your “unpopular opinion” with the hashtag .

All You Need is ONE Word From God

All you need is one word, one message from God.

One word from God can change your life forever.

  • Turns around circumstances
  • Creates peace where sorrow abounds

One word from God started creation.

  • Breathes life into emptiness
  • Gives vision to transform nations

One word from God can activate dormant blessings.

  • Ignites purpose to lukewarm faith
  • Unlocks promises for your seed and generations to follow

Are you attentive to the Lord’s voice?

  • Listen carefully, it strikes with flashes of lightning (Psalm 29:7)
  • Carries creative&healing power

#AllYouNeedisONEWordFromGod

Does Your YES Mean Yes, and Your NO, No ?

Yes and No. They are two of the first words we learn, and boy are they misunderstood. Wisdom is knowing when to say yes and when to say no, even as a budding toddler.

Therefore, we must strive to be intentional with our word and hence time:

  • Don’t say yes to everything.
  • It takes courage to say no, even to seemingly good opportunities.
  • Closing the door to one opportunity could open gateways to others.

Integrity shines through when you let your yes mean yes, and your no mean no (Matthew 5:37).

Is your word bond?