The Sobering Truth About Parenting and How God Sees You

I am a firm believer that as parents (and guardians), we are responsible for guiding and supporting our children towards fulfilling their life’s purpose, rather than manipulating their future life course.

Contrary to what some parents may feel, children are not prized possessions; they are on loan to us for a season. They were not created to be replicas of ourselves. Children, from conception, have their own unique identity and personhood. Therefore, it’s an honor and weighty responsibility to nurture children into becoming emotionally intelligent, compassionate, empathetic, and productive human beings. And this privilege comes from God.

You didn’t come from your parents, you came through your parents

While mulling over this truth, I came across an inspiring and challenging message by Lance Wallnau that speaks volumes about our godly heritage and how parents and guardians shape our life story. Please read on to uncover some deep truths.

Sometimes somebody might come into the world through parents that are divorced or a mother that put them up for adoption, or they could even be the victim of incest or rape or something terrible like that. You know, not everyone comes through the earth in a fairytale story.

BUT…

You didn’t come from your parents, you came through your parents, God is the one who brought you into the world. I love that.

You didn’t come from your parents. You may have had loving parents, you may have had good parents, but you didn’t come from your parents, you came through your parents. God is the one who brought you into history at this time.

• Whatever age you are, you are exactly the age God wanted you to be in 2015.
• Whatever gender you are, you are exactly the gender God wanted you to be in 2015.
• Whatever race or nationality or color of skin you are, you are who God brought you into the earth to be in this hour in history.

You are at the right place in the right body with the right gender in the right nationality with the right skin tone. And if you are a Christian, then your parents may have been the delivery vehicle through which God brought you into the world.

You came from God. God wanted you to exist. God wanted you to be here. God has gifts and talents that he has given you. And he has given them to you because He wants you to be an extension and expression of the goodness of God to other people’s lives.

God is putting the fragments of your story together so that your story will have a better next chapter than you possibly could ever imagine.

God is positioning you in your prayers. Please pray. Pray for God to put you at the right place with the right people at the right time.

Be faithful in everything that God gives you. Be faithful to honor everything. Put your faith into fruitless situations simply because by serving as unto the Lord, serving as unto God, and not unto people, serving as unto the Lord and not unto a ministry or person, but making the Lord your client. Every time you work with a client, treat them as though it was Jesus and do it by faith because God will be working through those people to connect you to His divine appointments.

Tell me, were you as blessed by these powerful truths as I was?

How Do You Overcome the Fear of Man?

The Fear of man or “what will people think” syndrome manifests in so many situations:

• At job interviews
• When creating or publishing content
• At public speaking events
• When meeting new people
• Basically anytime you’re being vulnerable
• You name it: _____________________

Any time we’re thrown out of our comfort zone, fear is likely to creep in, and it can be paralyzing.

Faith offends the instinct to remain stationary; fear keeps us stuck

But the Lord tells us not to be afraid.

Why?

Because fear challenges our faith in God: without faith it is impossible to please God. Fear cannot coexist with faith. It contradicts God’s promise to be with us no matter what. Faith offends the instinct to remain stationary, whereas fear keeps us stuck.

The fear of man brings a snare. Trust in God keeps us grounded

Wisdom tells us that the fear of man only entraps us and it can be debilitating.

I’ve always had an irrational fear of public speaking. With time and practice, I’ve learned to overcome this fear. I remember an incident where I had to pitch a project to a major client and fear gripped me to the point where my physiology overtook my mind: elevated heart rate, dry mouth, shakes, sweating, overactive bladder—it wasn’t a cute look!

But when you know better, you do better. I’m learning that the antidote to fear of man is trust in God. He will keep us safe and boost our confidence when we need it most.

So you choked, what can man really do to you?

Next time you’re thrust into an uncomfortable situation, ask yourself, “What can man really do to me?”

It sounds simplistic, but it’s true. The person in front of you is human just like you. Therefore don’t let opinions, possible opinions, attitudes, or fear of rejection control you. Trust that God made you uniquely wonderful and capable to overcome the task or situation at hand.

TD Jakes said it well:

Fear is like a seed in the womb of your mind, it’s your choice to incubate it or reject it.

Today and always, choose to reject fear. Trust and believe that just like last time, God will get you through this situation. He got this!

How do you overcome the fear of man?

Holding onto ME

I will not
Can not
Lose myself

There is only
1 ME
On this beautiful Earth

Holding on tight
To my dignity and
Self worth

A 1-of-a-kind jewel
MASTERPIECE created
For purpose

If you know your value, you won’t let others put a price on you.

On the Other Side

don’t waste time thinking
you’re not qualified,
don’t feed into those doubts.

as your mind flip-flops
between what’s possible
and impossible,
your heart races,
daydreaming
about all you could be doing,
the very things
your mind is shushing.

others may say,
“yes you can, yes you can,”
but without faith,
these words are meaningless.
unless you step out of the boat
and cross to the other side,
you will never discover
what’s truly in you

Now Be Thankful

Trust
protects you from
worrying and obsessing.

Thankfulness
keeps you from
criticizing and complaining.
~ Sarah Young

Let your living spill over into thanksgiving.
What are you thankful for?

Why Do We Remember the Good More Than the Bad?

Why is it that people tend to focus more on their failures than successes?
What is it about the human psyche that causes us to remember the bad more than the good?
Why do we beat up on ourselves when we make mistakes, while fleeting past our victories?

It’s that 1 negative thing …

In any given day, I may accomplish much, but it’s the 1 negative thing or interaction that leaves a lasting imprint on my mind. It’s that 1 single mistake that keeps replaying in my head, ignoring all the other positive events of the day.

I recently had such a day. I’d done many things well, but didn’t hit the mark on another task. So I lamented over my presumed incompetence: “Why, why, why didn’t you think things through?” I chastised myself.

Reality check

As I continued to replay this broken record, it suddenly dawned on me how self-indulgent I was being. Because within the same day, I had shared a very intimate conversation with a young man who’d lost his father to prostate cancer, and found out 6 months later that his mother had lung cancer.

Talk about a reality check! Here I was feeling sorry for myself, when I could be grateful for the privilege of having shared such a personal and honest conversation. It was humbling how this young man spoke about his experience with such boldness and courage.

Is it human nature?

So I ask again, why do we remember the bad more than the good?

“It’s in human nature,” says social psychology Professor Roy Baumeister, whose research states that, “Bad emotions, bad parents, and bad feedback have more impact than good ones. Bad impressions and bad stereotypes are quicker to form and more resistant to disconfirmation than good ones.”

Communication Professor Clifford Nass provides further insight on this, “The brain handles positive and negative information in different hemispheres. Negative emotions generally involve more thinking, and the information is processed more thoroughly than positive ones. Thus, we tend to ruminate more about unpleasant events—and use stronger words to describe them—than happy ones.”

5 good for every 1 bad

So it’s not just me. I’m not crazy or unusual for focusing on negative experiences. I don’t need to beat myself up when things go wrong. Plus, it’s refreshing to note that positive thinking and living isn’t just a soft and fluffy feel-good term, it’s cerebral, and necessary for healthy balanced living.

According to Professor Baumeister, “Many good events can overcome the psychological effects of a bad one.” The ratio is apparently 5 goods for every 1 bad, which is a great reminder that we need to show more love and compassion for others and ourselves.

Related articles:

• Bad is stronger than good
• Praise Is Fleeting, but Brickbats We Recall

Creative Block

Lately I’ve been struggling … for inspiration.

Ideas fleet in and out, many crash-land, few actually taken off.

It seems like I’ve caught a severe form of “creative block.” It’s pretty debilitating. My brain seems run-down, inspiration doesn’t flow, I just can’t seem to commit to an idea.

So I’m choosing quiet reflection. I’m getting plugged into the storehouse of wisdom and creativity – Yahweh. I’ll sit at His feet, soak in truth, and get clarity of vision.

How do you deal with creative block?

Just Take It!

Grab your window of opportunity

Lately I’ve been wondering, contemplating as to why some people get all these great opportunities while others are left to pick up the scraps. Why is it that some people get promotions in life whereas others remain stuck at the same level?

I know this is a loaded question for which we can’t have all the answers. But after some lengthy discussion with hubby, I came to this conclusion:

•  If you want something, you’ve got to ask for it, you’ve got to take it. You can’t sit around waiting for good things to happen, you have to “make it work,” to quote Tim Gunn (shout out to all Project Runway peeps).

Jesus highlighted this principle of asking, seeking, knocking, and just being doggone persistent when he said:

Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you (Matthew 7:7)

Life is brimming with opportunities, but often times we don’t have because we don’t ask. Unless people know your intentions, they can’t help you pursue or reach your goals.

Now don’t get it twisted. God is a giver of good things: whatever you hope to receive must bless, nourish, encourage, and elevate those around you. Yes, to him much is given much is required.

Personally, this mindset is refreshing because it puts power back into my hands. Instead of expecting my boss, colleagues, husband, pastor, family member, friend, government, or community to “see” me, I can proactively seize opportunities for advancement, both physically and spiritually.

Related articles:

• Ready to Fly
• Seeing the Invisible

My Brain is Not an App

I don’t know about you, but my brain is not designed to function like an iPad or iPhone, with applications running in the background.

I recently posted on how multitasking is a big old lie.

In both man and machine, multitasking depletes available resources, including memory and power, and limits the functioning of foreground applications. Try running multiple applications on an iPhone simultaneously and watch how long the battery lasts.

So what to do?

We need to make smarter choices. We need to conserve our energy and allocate our time and resources to the people and tasks that matter. Unlike iDevices, we really can’t do it all, at the same time.

For your reading pleasure:

• Is Multitasking a Myth?

Is Multitasking a Myth?

For the longest time, I’ve prided myself in being a fantastic multitasker. I can sufficiently juggle multiple crazy tasks simultaneously, and still maintain some level of sanity. I often tease my hubby for his “inefficiency”—he’s excellent at performing singular tasks, but not so good at handling multiple concurrent demands (hence the recently burned pot of rice while trying to feed our baby girl).

But after listening to a webinar by Tony Schwartz—Creating a Workplace that Really Works—my understanding of multitasking has shifted.

We’re not wired to operate like computers

According to prevailing wisdom, multitasking is a myth (GASP). To quote John Medina, the author of Brain Rules:

Research shows that we can’t multitask. We are biologically incapable of processing attention-rich inputs simultaneously.

And get this: multitasking reduces productivity.

So when I think I’m being efficient by cooking dinner, chatting with mom, doing laundry, checking email, and researching a project, all at the same time, I’m really just wasting my time.

Serial tasking

So what then is “multitasking?”

Psychologists refer to multitasking as serial tasking. This means that rather than engaging in simultaneous tasks, me and every other proud multitasker is actually shifting from one task to another to another in rapid succession (Taylor 2011).

The key then is to understand the difference between multitasking and task switching. Task switching ultimately leads to decreased efficiency and productivity because each task tends to take longer to finish when multiple tasks are worked on concurrently as opposed to sequentially.

Why is multitasking a valued attribute in today’s society?

Because we’re getting nuttier and nuttier (just kidding, well not entirely).

The truth is, more and more people are working in super high-paced conditions where the boundaries between work and home are often blurred. To survive in this technologically advanced environment, we’re expected to be “on” all the time. Talk about pressure.

But I’m learning more and more that I have to put my family and me first. When I think I’m being more productive by multitasking, I’m really only negating my own efforts: I get easily distracted and am hardly ever present “in the moment.”

Rest and renewal are important for success at work and at home. Jesus knew this all to well when he said:

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light ~ Matthew 11:28−30

Although the ability to multitask is considered a desirable skill, it compromises our health and harms our productivity. Instead, when I’m faced with a gazillion tasks and am feeling weary and burdened, I turn to Jesus. I center myself in Him who promises to give me rest; whose yoke is easy and burden light.

Do you think multitasking is real? What has been your experience with multitasking?

Related articles

• Technology: Myth of Multitasking
• Creating a Workplace that Really Works
• Is the Multitasking Myth Hurting Your Productivity? (bizsugar.com)