Can Toys Shape Your Child’s Future?

As a new parent, I’m always trying to figure out what’s best for my daughter, and how to prepare her for the greatest possible future? This certainly extends to the types of toys to introduce into her world.

Do children need toys?

Before my baby girl was born, I wasn’t a big fan of children’s toys. I thought they were clutter-generating, space-hogging objects designed to reduce creativity and drain wallets.

Now that my daughter is a toddler, I’ve totally changed my tune. I realize that toys have a purpose and function—they impact learning and help create the building blocks of my child’s future. The self-discovery and curiosity elicited by a great toy is awesome to watch. However, I still maintain that the quantity of toys should be kept to a minimum.

“Girl” toys vs “boy” toys

Having warmed up to the educational merit of toys, I now struggle with the issue of gender-biased toys. Should I buy my daughter “girl” toys or “boy” toys?

Educational researchers think that parents and other social factors—not innate genetic predispositions—are what influence children to prefer gender-specific toys.

As a side note, my little girl loves trains, cars, building blocks, puzzles, art, and music. She isn’t a big fan of teddy bears, dolls, or houses. My husband says she’s wired to be an engineer—she enjoys problem solving, and building/breaking things.

So what does this mean for her future?

Interestingly, a 2009 study found that 31% of “girl” toys are focused on appearance, involving hairstyling, plastic makeup, and clothing. The same study showed that children start to understand gender roles early—as young as 30 months, and develop social prejudices—including gender-based prejudices—in preschool. Meanwhile, “boy-specific toys encourage technical knowledge, invention, exploration, competition, mobility, and problem solving—all skills associated with highly desirable employees and leaders,” says LearnVest.

Reducing gender stereotypes

To quote Doug Gertner, popularly known as The Grateful Dad:

When we send or support messages of idealized gender—tough, unemotional, driven boys, and demure, passive, dependent girls—we are not offering our children the opportunity to be themselves.

Moving forward, I hope to minimize the issue of gender roles and stereotypes in my home by following my child’s lead. My job is to expose her to a range of toys, activities, and interests, which will allow her imagination to run wild. I want her to grow up knowing she can be a scientist, an astronaut, a writer, a golf pro, an engineer, a doctor, a professor, a celebrity chef, the president…or whatever else her little heart desires.

What are your thoughts on gender-biased toys and their influence on children’s development and learning?

Related articles:

• 7 Ways You’re Hurting Your Daughter’s Future (LearnVest)
• Sweden makes my gender-free toy Christmas wish come true | Sarah Ditum (guardian.co.uk)

Snowstorm Blankets Montreal

On December 27, 2012, Montreal’s all-time record for snowfall, set in 1971, was broken when the city was blanketed by up to 45 cm of snow!

Snow out the window

White mounds on the streets

Snow-blanketed cars

Fat plump snowflakes everywhere!

Stand Up and Shout Against Violence

Sonali Mukurjee, before and after

If you can stare at a picture of a pretty woman then you can look at my burnt face too.

…Chilling words from the courageous Sonali Mukherjee, who recently won India’s version of “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?”

What’s remarkable about Sonali Mukherjee’s story is that in April 2003, she was the victim of a horrific acid attack that left her severely disfigured and partially blind. Denied justice, she pleaded with the Indian government for permission to end her life—a controversial request in a nation where euthanasia is illegal. Denied this request, she vowed to no longer be a victim, but a survivor. She made a choice to stand up and scream and shout against the heinous crime of acid violence, most common in countries, such as India, Uganda, Cambodia, Bangladesh, Pakistan, and Afghanistan, where social structures remain deeply patriarchal. According to Acid Survivors Trust International, about 1500 acid attacks are reported globally each year, 80% of them against women.

After reading this hauntingly inspiring story, I asked myself:

What’s the difference between those who remain standing amidst adversity and those who fall and fail to get back up?

In the context of this story, my answer is hope, solid foundation, and strong support system.

We learn from Mukherjee that winning “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” was the best balm for her wounded existence. Her victory and the outpouring of public support gave her hope to press on.

Additional keys to withstanding the huff and puff of life are a solid foundation and strong support system. Mukhurjee’s family was instrumental towards her recovery, having spent their life savings to treat her injuries. Being part of the National Cadet Corps also gave her the courage to fight all odds, including surviving her vicious ordeal.

So why are some people more resilient than others? What lies behind the extraordinary grit of Sonali Mukhurjee, Nelson Mandela, Victor Frankl, and countless others who have survived and bounced back from distressing situations?

The Bible describes resilience as follows:

Hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed (2 Corinthians 4:8–9)

Resilience is an essential life skill. A resilient person:

• Has a solid foundation built on godly principles
• Has the ability to bend like a tree in the wind
• Knows that their life has purpose even when their circumstances say otherwise.

Sonali Mukurjee is a tremendous example of resiliency. In her words: “Once everything else had failed, I decided to use my face.” Rather than hide away in shame, she is determined to valiantly rise from the ashes and seek justice for herself and other victims of acid violence. Her story should be an inspiration to all of us.

Related articles

• Acid Attack Victim Wins India’s ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire’ (huffingtonpost.com)
• ‘Millionaire’ Acid Attack Victim Using Money for Surgery (abcnews.go.com)
• India Teen Commits Suicide After Police Pressure Her To Drop Gang Rape Case, Marry Attacker
• #India- Sonali Mukherjee Rises From The Ashes #Vaw #Acidattack (kractivist.wordpress.com)

The Greatest Gift

Just wanted to share this beautiful poem by my dear friend − the very talented Gwyneth Davies:

In the beauty of this lovely night
In the quiet rest of a day well spent
I reflect on the paths that my feet have trod
All the joys I have known in the days that have gone

Bright are the reflections that shine through my mind
Like the twinkling lights on my Christmas tree
Warmly, I remember the ones I have loved and so
Grateful and glad for the ones who’ve loved me

Like the bright shining star that led kings from afar
Through the desert place to a stable bare
The angelic voices that proclaimed great joy
And the shepherds awed by celestial air
The events of that night brought love, peace without measure
The birth of our Savior – the world’s greatest treasure

So together tonight as we sing the old songs
Of heavenly events that took place on that night
Let’s be glad in our hearts for the truth of His love
That no matter our pathway – we will walk in His light

Copyright © 2012 Gwyneth Davies 

Under the Waterfall of Grace

Image courtesy of Christian Meyn / FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

Do you have days where you wonder:

How will I get through this?

The mountain looms and you have no idea how to scale it, how to level the rugged places, and raise up the valleys.

But there is a grace that carries through. Standing under the waterfall of grace, I find my hope in Jesus, my rock, my GPS.

There is a grace that gives strength to endure, to fight through hardship and emerge stronger, wiser. Grace that reveals strength of character, purified by fire, refined like silver.

Grace is strong. Grace champions when you can’t see the finish line. Grace enables you to make it, no matter what.

On days when I struggle to make it through, I stand under the waterfall of grace, allowing God’s waves and breakers to sweep over me, carrying me through the day.

Deep calls unto deep at the noise of your waterfalls: all your waves and your billows are gone over me (Psalm 42:7).

When Evil Visits

To our children whose lives have been viciously and prematurely snuffed by evil …

Cries are heard in the nations
bitter weeping and great mourning
fill the earth
parents weeping for their children
refusing to be comforted
because they are no more

In the words of Jesus:

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted

Related articles

• Matthew 2:18
• Hope in the Valley of Weeping [Baca]
• Waves of Grief

The Ironies of Public Transit

Let’s face it. People are inherently selfish. Just watch a toddler playing if you don’t believe me.

Selfishness—or concern with one’s own interests—manifests in many forms, particularly during rush hour, when folks are anxiously trying to commute to work, school, or some other “urgent” appointment.

To investigate this hypothesis, the scientist in me decided to observe the habits and behaviors of people during the hustle and bustle of rush hour. I call this study, “The Ironies of Public Transit.”

English: McGill metro station in the Montreal metro. Français : Station de métro McGill du métro de Montréal. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Here are my preliminary observations:

• You’re late and running wildly to catch the bus. You pray the driver waits for you. Fortunately, the driver’s in a good mood and you just make it. Now that you’re on the bus, cozy and sheltered from the frigid cold, you spot a poor soul struggling to catch the bus. You impatiently grumble, “Can we just go already?”
• You’re driving to a doctor’s appointment that took you 6 months to schedule. You see traffic build up and mutter in frustration, “Now I’m definitely going to be late.” You approach the build up and realize that the traffic is due to a stalled car. You’re relieved, “At least the traffic will dissipate soon.”
• You’re 8 months pregnant and heading back home after a crazy day at work. You enter the metro (subway), eagerly looking around for a seat. Eyes conveniently avert your advances; you spot a “sleeping” teenager and a business man too focused on his reading to notice your belly. Ironically, these strangers are comfortably situated in seats designated for the mobility impaired.
• You’re driving to the train station with 2 minutes to spare before the hourly train arrives. The parking lot is packed. You need to park your car, but a pedestrian cuts you off. You’re fuming: this pedestrian is walking leisurely, causing you to potentially miss your train. You park your car and whiz to the train, cutting 2 drivers off in the process, “Don’t they know pedestrians have right of way?”
• It’s 6:30 AM and you’re looking forward to a quiet train commute to work. You select a remote, serene cabin. Enter scene: someone blasting a video on their iPad AND laughing along loudly …  at 6:30AM, seriously? Get yourself some Beats!

My observations don’t end here. The news is replete with acts of selfishness portrayed on public transit:

• A pregnant Seattle woman was kicked off a city bus when her baby’s dirty diaper was deemed to be a disturbance to other passengers; this poor lady was taking her sick 1­­-year-old son to the doctor (ABC News; October 19, 2012).
• A Montreal woman was physically assaulted by a public transit worker who ordered her to “go back to your country,” after a disagreement over a faulty automatic metro fare machine (CBC News; October 30, 2012).

Why are people so self-absorbed and oblivious when using public transportation, a system designed to help the masses and protect the environment?

What is you public transport horror story?

Work That’s Joy

Find work that’s joy:
… that matters, leads to purposeful living
… that solves problems, facing society
… that brings fulfillment, vitality and growth
… that pays spiritual currency, not just bills

What’s the point of 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, or 80 years of life?
Store your treasure where it counts
Live a life worth living!

9 Benefits of Having an Open Mind

When Jesus washed his disciples’ feet, was this act considered menial, degrading, or humiliating?

Have you ever been tasked with something others considered demeaning, impossible, or a waste of time? I have x3.

In these situations, I quickly learned that once I set aside my prejudices and embraced the task with an open mind, I reaped tremendous benefit. Adopting an open mindset helped me discover a road untraveled paved with opportunities and endless adventures.

Join me in exploring 9 benefits of having an open mind:

1. Become enlightened. The Bible speaks of the “eyes of your understanding being enlightened” (Ephesians 1:18). A great truth about God is that He is open-minded, even with those who are close-minded towards Him. God is passionate about people, even those who deny His existence. He is excited when we discover our life’s purpose and passionately pursue it. Being spiritually enlightened requires that we be open to God’s word and vision for our lives. When we partner with God, we gain wisdom and understanding regarding our purpose on earth. Open-mindedness unlocks the door to purposeful living.
2. Learn and grow. Living with an open mind helps us to learn and grow. It empowers us to be proactive and solution-oriented, allowing every situation, circumstance, and person to be our teacher … this is when real growth and transformation happens.
3. Discover new opportunities. Some have said, “An open mind is a theatre of opportunities.” A person with a closed mind tends to see difficulties, not opportunities. An open mind seeks out opportunities and sees life as a basket of possibilities: every task becomes an opportunity to learn and to add value. With this mindset, life is full of promise.
4. Step out of our comfort zone. Being open-minded is one of the most difficult things to practice. Most of us are raised with certain belief systems and core values that keep us confined in familiar spaces, around familiar faces; when faced with conflicting ideas or beliefs, we may struggle to be accommodating and accepting. Adopting an open mindset forces us to step out of our comfort zones into unfamiliar places. This has the benefit of enlarging our sphere of influence, making our interactions with others more impactful.
5. Gain confidence. When faced with a daunting task, a close-minded person would respond, “I can’t;” an open-minded person would say, “Tis better to try and fail, then to have never tried at all.” With this attitude, each successful attempt builds confidence, until you start believing, “Nothing is truly impossible, after all!”
6. Gain humility. Living with an open mind gives you the confidence to say, “I don’t know.” Sometimes we confuse “not knowing” with mediocrity. Whenever I’ve admitted my vulnerabilities and been bold enough to say, “I don’t know,” I’ve discovered great freedom: liberty from needing to have all the answers and openness to new information and ideas.
7. Increase creativity. Natural creativity and open-minded thinking are like 2 peas in a pod. To be open-minded, our minds need the freedom to explore new territory. Creativity helps develop right-brain thinking, enabling us to think outside the box. Whenever possible, practice and develop your creativity: daydream, explore new life experiences, volunteer or participate in creative projects.
8. Develop new friendships. Seeking out new friendships and relationships requires a certain level of tolerance, openness, and acceptance. Open-minded people look at the heart of a person and not the outward appearance. They see people beyond their titles and labels. With an open mind, we’re more likely to meet new people with unconventional appearances and foreign accents, thereby expanding our networks and social circles.
9. Make life more fun. Having an open mind allows us to see the world as a vast place full of possibilities. It awakens curiosity and joie de vivre. Each day becomes this wonderful new adventure, making life more fun and enjoyable.

So, how do we practice having an open mind? Here are 9 “easy” ways:

1. Pray, meditate on God’s word, and seek His face
2. Learn something new: language, skill, course
3. Step outside your comfort zone; face your fears
4. Nurture your creativity: pursue hobbies, writing, reading, art, music, basically anything that requires you to be creative
5. Meet new people and increase your social circle
6. Take time to daydream
7. Expand your travels and activities
8. Practice empathy and exercise tolerance towards others: do to others what you would have them do to you
9. Visit art museums and cultural centers

How do you practice being open-minded? What lessons have you learned about being open-minded?

If you keep your eyes open enough, oh, the stuff you will learn! The most wonderful stuff! ~ Dr. Seuss

Copyright © 2012 Uwana.

Would Jesus Work With Women?

I love God, I love the Bible, but I constantly struggle with how the Church perceives women.

Women form the core of many churches, typically outnumbering men. Yet my personal experience with the Church has been that of a “boys only club:”

As such, I have difficulty reconciling how the 21st century Church still treats women as second­-class citizens. So when I stumbled across the following article by Kris Vallotton of Bethel Church, I was inspired:

It seems odd to me that when Jesus died on the cross and was buried, only 2 women showed up at the tomb. Where were the 11 world changers? Even when the ladies discovered an empty tomb and excited angels, and ran to tell the disciples, they still didn’t believe it. Eleven apostles, but only Peter and John bothered to verify their story.

Thank God women believed and weren’t quiet about their experience. Jesus told Mary (a woman) go tell my disciples I am alive. Eight days later, the boys are huddled up in a house fearing for their lives. Thank God for women who refuse to give up in dark times.

I say whoever has an encounter with Jesus has something to say! Certainly the apostles were being taught by 2 women, and Jesus told them too. Their words are recorded in the Bible. If you don’t want to learn from women you will have to cross a lot of verses out of your Bible. Not a single book of the Bible was written by a woman, but women are often quoted. The authors were wise enough to know the Word of the Lord when they heard it. Thank God for women that will visit empty tombs and wait on angels.

I grew up with men who oppressed women because they could. They used their physical strength to bully their way through life. I was surprised when I got saved and read the Bible. Jesus was so loving, empowering, and protective of women.

I can still remember coming to church for the first time and realizing that the violence was gone, but the value for women remained the same. It was another boys club … I thank God I met Bill Johnson when I was still a young believer; he loved and respected women. I learned how to value and treat women from him.

I am sick, sick, sick to death of men who oppress instead of empower women.

We have asked the Native Americans for forgiveness, we have asked African-Americans for forgiveness (and we should repent to them), yet the most oppressed people group in the history of the world remain reduced.

It’s embarrassing to me that the world empowers women more than the Church that Jesus commissioned to disciple nations.

Jesus refused to let religious leaders oppress women! It’s about time we become Christ-like.

Remember, the only people who were there to greet Jesus in His victory were 2 women.

My Bible tells me that Jesus loved, valued, and respected women. His teachings are pro-women, his message challenged the status-quo. Isn’t it time the Church caught up with Christ’s “radical” thinking?

Related articles

• Jesus was a feminist and so am I (bbc.co.uk)
• What Would Jesus Do? (vagendamag.blogspot.com)

Copyright © 2012 Uwana.